


Repression

by Rhaella_Tully



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: AU, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Jealousy, Marriage of Convenience, One Shot, Sad, Tragedy, XXs AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 03:13:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhaella_Tully/pseuds/Rhaella_Tully
Summary: Early XXc AU. When Juvia got engaged to the rich Silver Fullbuster she thought she was the luckiest girl in the world, that was before she met his son Gray Fullbuster. Her life that should have good if not perfect becomes subject to boredom, jealousy and saddness. Oneshot





	Repression

**Author's Note:**

> AN/ This is a tragedy, don't expect this to be happy. Also I'm dyslexic so sorry if they are mistake in my orthograph or grammar.
> 
> I'd also like to point out that this was inspired by Uber Psychoanalyse (I don't know the English title) by Freud. Of which I recommend the reading to those interest in psychology and don't know where to start, those conference so it's easy to understand, and he present five different case do it's really easy to understand.
> 
> This was first posted on Fanfiction.net

Drinks, dresses, friends and family, as it were proper for an engagement party. Less appropriate was the future bride standing away from everyone instead of entertaining her guest. But then again they weren't truly hers, this was her future husband home and she didn't know more than a quarter of those present here. The only thing making them her guest was her gender. She didn't mean to be rude of course, she just needed to breath, she wasn't used to those event.

Indeed, unlike her fiancé, she was the daughter of a lawyer, upper class parties and habits were not something she had fully grasp yet. One day it will all be natural to her, or so she had been told. But in the mean time this formality was merely a reminder of the difference between her and the man she bound to married.

She was Juvia Locser, only daughter of Alfonso and Marigold Locser, Liverpool lawyer and his secretary. She had been average in school, but always docile and respectful. She was not particularly good at making friends, of all her acquaintance there was only one she would have truly called her friend. She had managed to become a seamstress without showing much of aptitude to it, the creation of the sewing machine had help her case. The only department in which we could have called her above average was beauty. Her skin was pale, her hips were wide, her belly flat, and they was not one imperfection on her face. Many accounted her beauty for the luck she had had in her engagement. They probably weren't entirely wrong, but they definitely weren't right.

He had come in the small shop in which she worked, early in the morning, it was not opened yet, but Juvia had a tendency to be slow in her work, in order to avoid coming home to late, she had been given the right to come early and start working. He had knock on the window looking quite desperate, Juvia had open worriedly, he had explained her that he was suppose to meet a great aunt of his who gave a very importance to looks and that his sleeve had come loose, he didn't had time to go home and change, he therefore really needed her help. She had agreed to help without hesitation. He had come back latter that day to thank her, she had refuse his money, which led him to come as he needed a way to thank her. After she manage to convince him that his gratitude was more than enough, he still kept coming to visit her, and quickly asked for her hand in marriage.

She had been hesitant to say yes, they were, after all, very different person. Silver Fullbuster, her fiancé, was the owner, through inheritance, of a car companies and two newspapers. The idea that the man she'll married would be this wealthy was out of a fairy tale, less was the fact that he had already been married and a son, she had been told, about as old as her. He was tall and had a very squared body, his checks were thin and time had dug wrinkle along his face and planted white hairs among the black one that crowned his head. He wasn't young, beautiful and energetic or able to carry her away by only using his words, like the man she had dreamt of, but long ago she had stopped to believe in fairy tale and he was kind, smart and he loved her, she honestly couldn't see how, in time, she could not come to love such a good man.

 

The wedding went smoothly, the words were said, the rings exchanged, and the kiss given, the only fluctuation in her heartbeat came when Juvia realised that Silver was wearing the very jacket she had fixed for him on the day they met. The guest had come to the great house of her husband, which was now hers as well. As she talked with each of them, her though was on her future, more precisely on how great it was going to be. She couldn't think of any cloud coming toward her sky.

She busted out of her bubble when Lisanna Strauss came to talk to her. She was wearing her bridesmaid dress, Juvia had chosen one of a very light shade of blue, for it was her favourite colour and only light colour could match the haired of her friend. She came to her smiling, but Juvia could see it was only a half-hearted smile. As soon as the other guest talking to her had found other interest she asked her friend "What's wrong?"

The other girl give away all the sine indicating that she didn't know how to voice her though without sounding impertinent. Which surprise Juvia as this was the first time this look was directed at her. Juvia pressed her to tell her, after all nothing the girl could say could offend her. After a very longue inspiration Lisanna finally said "I'm just a bit sad for you."

Juvia was confused "You aren't happy for me?" she asked incredulously.

"You have always wanted children." Lisana explained with an extreme sadness.

Juvia immediately answered her with a sentence that had been stuck in her head since her engagement "My uncle had his first children at fifty seven."

Lisanna gave her a polite apology and the party started on again. She received congratulation on congratulation, praise on praise, advise on advice, all in the same merry go round. The stillness was broken when loud chatter erupted from the other room, where she knew her husband to be.

She excused herself and made her way to the other room, she saw a small crow gather around something she couldn't make out. She made her way through her guest and found they were all looking at her husband as he was holding tightly another person. She was herself surprise by this behaviour as she had never seen it before. From her place she couldn't make out who the other person was, but upon hearing her husband say "I though you wouldn't come" she could guess she wasn't to blame for not knowing this new guest.

She, then, heard the other person say, "I know I have the reputation of an ungrateful son but I wouldn't have miss my father wedding.", and understood who he was. As they pulled apart she study him. Some could have said he was a younger version of his father but Juvia could see the difference he had inherited from his mother. He had a square jaw like his father but his eyes were much rounder, his mouth was bigger making his smile warmer than his father. He was not as tall as his father but his broad shoulders were the right size for his body. His eyes and hairs worn matching raven colour. We could see an overwhelming energy in his calm steps.

Silver brought him closer to her. "My dear" he said to her "way I introduce you my son, Gray Fullbuster."

The younger boy grabbed her hand and place his lips on it, "it's a pleasure to met you" he assured her.

As soon as they were introduce the guests gather around Gray and started plaguing him with questions, and offering Juvia some time to breath, before some of them remember the newly weds. Her husband told her he hoped she and his son would get along, and that as a matter of fact he couldn't how they wouldn't.

Finally dinner took place, as the different dishes were serve, the conversation went on the different subject of politics, history, economy, always in the most proper way. The only thing coming to break each found consensus were the originals remarks enounced by Gray. Most of the guests tried to ignore them, while Silver tried desperately to pacify them. This little dance between everyone and the prodigal son were the most entertaining to watch.

Gray was a very interesting young man, with lost of interest in art and very little in running a company or entertaining a legacy, he seemed to be his own man. Once in a while during the dinner a question would by asked about his travel, he would answer with passion and great detail. It was as if he painted a frame of each place he had visit and that somehow he brought you into it.

She quickly found herself asking more and more detail onto all those places he went to, so she could have the feeling of being there. Those escapades were broken by the genuine question Gray would ask her about her life. She answer truthfully by also forgetting the etiquette that told her not to give her opinion too sincerely, it didn't seemed to bother him, which was unsurprising once he explained that he had similar ideas.

Juvia found herself thinking that this young man didn't have much fault, and that his company was of the most enjoyable. It was nice to have someone else in the room who didn't always agreed with what they should. It was even better to see one who didn't keep such thought to himself.

He was definitely an exquisite gentleman in his own extravagant way.

Marrying him would have been wonderful.

 

It is with a heavy heart that Juvia woke up after her wedding night. It would seem that the age have affected her husband more than she thought. She had fake the proof of the did with wine, even if Silver hadn't asked it of her. Her skin was cold as if the warmth of the body holding hers couldn't reach her. Feeling his breath against her neck she dreaded the moment when it'll change indicating that he had left the world of dream. To solve this issue she opted for pretending to sleep, only ringing the domestic after he had been in his dressing room for at least five minutes. Being married to wealthy man she was untitled to eat breakfast in her room and she intended to do so. She only faced him after ward when he came in her room to tell her he would be living for work. This immediately became her morning routine.

Her daily routine would be slightly different. After a long bath, she'd get dress and go spend her morning in the library reading any book she could find, never getting anywhere close the bookshelf intended for romance book. She would only leave if Gray were to come in, not wanting to show her lack of knowledge in front of her stepson. She would eat in the small garden, the domestic informed her every day that Gray was eating in the dinning-room, but upon hearing her love for green they'd indulged her childish whims. She'd spend the afternoon in the garden admiring the different plants and flower. She'd get back in to discus dinner with the cook. She'd then go to her room to think of her eveningwear.

Her husband would came back after she had change, he would tell her about his day, she'd only half listen without having her mind on anything. Dinner would mostly be a time for Silver and Gray to talk, Juvia only rarely giving her contribution. It was once she was in bed with her husband that she would speak, of all the different banality that were on her mind, which would somehow be suited conversation.

And so on, days after days.

 

The first break her routine got was when Lisanna called the house in odder to invite herself for tea. Juvia received her heartily, and was glad to have something to do today.

The meeting was peaceful and started with an avalanche of question on Juvia's new life. She answered each of them as accurately and properly as possible. This first part of the conversation was accompanied by an apology for the way Lisanna had spoken on her wedding day, which Juvia appreciated greatly.

Finally Lisanna came down to the real reason why she had brave their now very different places. She was getting married. Juvia first reaction was to ask why she had never heard of whomever Lisanna was marrying. Turns out she actually did, he was one of her old childhood friend. The name hadn't ring any bell for he was not among the one Lisanna spoke the most oftenly of. Nevertheless Juvia congratulated her.

"I am going to work with him in his shop after we get married" her friend had informed her. Juvia guessed it was a good thing. She couldn't really know for she didn't work with her husband, his work didn't allow it.

Juvia was also informed that the wedding would be in winter, she promised she'd try to attend.

Lisanna listed endlessly all the romantic gesture she had been given by her now fiancé, those romantic gesture could easily be label as gestures by someone else.

"We are almost always with one an other" Juvia hope for her friend that her love would not get tired of this habit, she knew that many, especially among the masculine gender, tended to like having some space.

"I hate being away from him, it's like nothing is truly enjoyable without him" Now Juvia felt a bit sad for her friend, for what she was describing sounded more like a short time passion then love.

"He always know what I want, even when I don't, I think he knows me better than I know myself" This sounded more like something out of her head than an actual truth, it would hurt her badly when she realise it.

"To be fully honest he makes me feel like I'm really myself when I am with him." That poor girl was lock in a fairy tale and coming down from it was going to hurt.

"I've never been this happy in my life." To bad it's just an illusion.

"I think I am going to be happy for a long time." No you won't.

 

Juvia learn to enjoy their diners. She would always be very entertained by the discussion in between Silver and Gray. It seemed like they could talk for hours of any given subject with out ever committing any digression. Her lack of knowledge sometimes left her unable to understand something, first thing in the morning she would try rectify that.

It was during one of those moments, they were talking about a new literary movement she had never heard of, that Gray mention having met one of the great novelists of this movement.

Her name was Ul, Silver seemed to have heard of her and was truly eager to her more about this. They had apparently met in Berlin where Gray had been staying with a friend of his. He had founded her fascinating, and had learnt a great deal by spending time with her. She also had daughter around the age of Gray, of whom he enjoyed the company greatly.

After his long tale of their time together Gray asked his father "We are still writing each other letters and I was wondering, if in my next one I could perhaps invite them to stay over in our home, for a small period of time of course."

"I, for once, would love to meet both of them, but the decision belongs to the mistress of the house."

Juvia agreed quickly, having guest around the house would definitely make her everyday life less monotone.

 

About less then a month later, Ul and her dautgher Ultear arrived to Liverpool. Silver, Juvia and Gray were waiting on the porch to greet them. Juvia was very exited about having guest, especially two of her own gender, at the house, but nevertheless she managed to keep her self in calm figure any women of her rank should. She only allowed herself a smile once her guests had come out of the car they had send for them.

Ul was a rather tall woman, taller than Juvia at least, and she carried herself straight. She had cut her raven hair in one of those boy cut French girl now wore. Her face was hard but the wrinkle under her eyes showed that she smiled easily. Juvia could guess her smile looked like the one of Ultear, who had no shame in showing it. She looked very alike her mother, excepted for the fact that she was smaller and had hair as long as Juvia.

They were welcomed warmly by all the family, and they answered with as much kindness, but Juvia noticed there was something odd with the way Ul looked at her. She brushed it of as some fragment of her imagination.

As they were discussing over a cup of tea, Ul asked her "You are Silver's wife?"

"Yes I am" Juvia told her with a smile.

"Who made you marry him?"

"I- No one"

"Truly? I would I thought a girl of your age would prefer a young man."

Ultear spoke before her mother could "That prove she's a smart girl, what kind of girl would want a boy when she can have a man."

Ul rolled her eyes as she looked at her daughter.

 

That night Juvia had to wait a bit in her bed for her husband to join her. She hadn't excused herself early, she had listen to the conversation between her family and her guest all night, she didn't understood all the reference, but still found it very enjoyable. Silver had seemed very happy too.

When he came to join her he had a smile on his face. Juvia asked him in the most proper way if he had enjoyed his evening. He answered her "Very much, I allowed my self to stay up for a bit with Ul. She seems to never run out of wonderful anecdote and interesting remark. We truly are lucky to have her under our roof."

 

Each night Silver stayed with their guest a little longer with their guest, always telling Juvia afterward of how great their conversation had been. A strange anger find it's way in Juvia's heart. She had never felt that way before. Without her knowing this feeling took over her and one night, as her husband was once again about his time with the autor, she told him "If she is as great as you say maybe she's the one you should be married to."

Silver eyes widen slightly, was it because of the arsh tone of his wife or her accusing word, she didn't know, but as soon as he recovered from it he told "I'm sorry if you are feeling neglected my love, this was never my attention. Ul might be of good company but she will never be to me, anthing like what you are."

This answer didn't satisfied her, with more anger she told him, "You spend all your evening with her should I expect you to spend your night in her room too?"

This time he took offence, "I would never!" he told her "Do you not know me! Never would I even think…" He took a moment to calm himself before saying "My dear, Ul is nothing more then a good friend to me."

"Well she isn't a child like me."

"She doesn't have your kindness or you charm and she never has and never will have your beauty. Trust me, you have nothing to fear from her. You are the only one who will ever matter to me."

This seemed to calm her inside storm. With a sigh she apologised for her behaviour.

 

It seemed that the calm that had come through her that night in their bedroom was only to stay for one night. At the moment she woke up the wind of anger that had started a storm the day before was blowing again. She tried to contain it, telling herself those ideas were just creation of her imagination. But, no matter with what strength she tried, she could not prevent it from becoming stronger with each kindness, each praise, each laugh, each nod, each smile, each look, her husband gave the other woman.

To prevent herself from another outburst she chose not to look, to not be present during as many of their encounter between the two of them. This was in fact simply going back to the way her life was prior to the woman arrival. But it would seem that even in this condition a part of her was still wondering, and worst imagining, what could be going on between this woman and her husband.

Her torment was still as present, if not made stronger, by not knowing.

Silver noticed her absence during the day, and on there evening talk asked her why he didn't get to see her. She pretended to some headaches that tired her greatly. This seemed to be easy for him to believe, it even worried him a little and he suggested that should those headaches keep bothering her he'd take her to see a doctor.

Gray, who didn't get to see her the same way her husband did, came to find her in the garden the next day. He asked her too about her disappearing tendency. She tried to use the same tactic as on Silver but it did not work on the son. He pointed out that she looked perfectly all right. He asked her if she disliked their guest, she immediately denied it. He keep pressing her to tell him what made her so uneasy that she had to isolate herself, going as far as asking if the problem came from him. She ended up telling him the truth.

She told him she felt threaten by the other woman. He immediately asked if his father new about this. She told him about her outburst and what he had told her afterward. He couldn't quite understand why she would feel threaten by someone like Ul.

She explained him "You have to understand, I am just the daughter of a small lawyer, a seamstress, I know nothing of the world while Silver know so much. Sometime I feel like we live in two different worlds. Ul. Ul she knows so much! When they talk, they're in the same world, while I am far away in mine. It, It just pains me to see it. And I can't help but think of how good they would be together. And I'm the only thing standing between them. And what if one day your father sees it, and, and decide to just…" her sobs keep her from finishing what she wanted to say, but it looked like Gray had understood.

He told her "I do not believe my father would ever do that. As a matter of fact, I know he would never even think of doing so. I have never seen him as happy as he is now with you. Nevertheless, if Ul presence put you in such a state of distress, I'll ask her to leave."

Juvia hadn't thought of this possibility, for it was the rudest possible gesture, and she told so to Gray. He assured her that he would find a pretext that she didn't have to worry about anything. She still did, but in front of the god-awful place this situation was putting her in, she accepted his offer. The next day Ul and Ultear made their goodbye to the house.

 

With the woman away from the house, Juvia thought she would be ride of the overpowering emotion that had come to her during their stay. And it seemed to indeed be gone. Until she started to pay attention to the time her husband took writing letters.

He would be in his office several hours doing nothing more then writing and reading letters. Juvia told herself that she simply hadn't notice before, but a petty voice told her that she hadn't noticed before because, before, he didn't take that long.

This clouded her mind to the point that she asked her husband to let her see his letters. He told that they were boring work related letters, that she would have no interest in, which only made her worried grow.

This time it's at the diner table that her outburst came. Over the perfectly cooked meal she spilled all her doubts in the form of accusation. And this time, no matter his tentative to reach her, her husband could not calm her down. She stormed out of the dinning room before the dessert. It's while she was alone in her room that her senses came back to her. The next morning she apologise to her husband for her meanness and to Gray for ruining his evening.

Days after days her husband reminded her that she was the only one for him. Days after Days she told herself it was all in her head. Days after days Gray explained that his father was fully devoted to her. Days after days her suspicions grew stronger.

The outbursts had disappeared replaced by little sharp remarks during conversation. She always apologised afterward but it did not minimise their effect.

Juvia could tell she was doing worst and worst but she didn't what she could do about it. It's Gray who proposed her what could be a solution.

One day it came to her, telling her first about how worried he was for her, then about a friend of his who had face a problem similar to her and that had solved it by going to see a psychologist. He did not need to end his tale for her to understand what he was suggesting. Juvia had to admit she didn't truly want to go see that man, but Gray seemed so sure it could help her that she accepted.

 

When Juvia came in the small office of the doctor Rocko. There was a very comfortable chair for her to sit on, while the doctor was behind his office. She kept scrubbing her tums against the arms of the chair. The man on the other side of the desk was smiling kindly at her.

"I don't know what…" she finally let out of her mouth.

"All you have to do is talk to me." The doctor instructed.

This didn't help Juvia at all "What should I talk about?" she asked

"Whatever's on your mind."

She did so. "I don't really want to be here." The doctor didn't seem surprise to hear this. "My step-son advised me to do so but…"

"You have a step-son?"

"Yes… His name is Gray, his about my age…"

"Ah"

Juvia frowned "There's nothing wrong with marrying someone older then you."

"I didn't say they were." The doctor paused as leaned back on his chair, "Tell me about your marriage."

"Hum… Well the ceremony was held several months ago… My husband is a good man. I'm lucky to have him… His son is also very nice…"

"Considering your reaction from earlier I'm guessing some people made you remark about the aged gape between you and your husband."

"Yes"

"Would you mind telling me about those?"

"The first one came from my best friend, on the day of my wedding."

"This must have seemed quiet offensive."

"It was. She… She insinuated I wouldn't ever have children."

"You really want children."

"Of course I do."

"Are you getting close of having any?"

"Not currently."

"The fear of never having children is really common thing…"

"That's not why I'm here." The doctor voicelessly indicated her that he like here to elaborate "I…There was a woman who came to our house as a guest, a woman of the age of my husband, a very cultivated woman. And ever since she came I fear that my husband might have an affair with her. He assured he only felt friendship toward her but I'm still… worried. I get very … violent reaction from the smallest things that might have to do with her. I… I really fear that my husband might prefer someone his aged. "

 

Her husband came with her at Lisanna's wedding even thought it was a simple ceremony from a simple family. Lisanna had worn a smile the all way through. It had been present as she walked down the aisle. She had offered Juvia a look to which she didn't know how to respond.

When Lisanna and her fiancé held each other's hands, the smile on her face became wider and a light appeared in her eyes that match the one in her fiancé's. The way they said "I do" could have made one think that they had been holding their breath until that moment. When they kissed each other they also held each other as if they feared the other might disappear. To Juvia they looked more like children playing grown ups then like a couple getting married.

The ceremony had seemed long to Juvia, far to long. She had thankfully been able to escape early. The sound of clining glasses, dancing foot and Lisanna's high pitched almost forced laugh, had given her a headaches and a good excuse to leave.

In the car, on their way back home, her husband had told her, with a tone full of the joy of the evening "Your friends are very lively."

"They are" had answered Juvia without much interest.

 

"I was never really good at school, probably because I spent more time reading novel than actually studying…"

"What kind of novel did you read?"

"Oh, mostly romance novel."

"Tell me about them."

"Well, they were all the same kind of classic story, a lonely girl meets an interesting and intrepid boy, they fall in love but there's something keeping them from truly being together, they find a way of overcoming it and live happily ever after." As she described this the memory of her favourite childhood book came back to her. "I remember, there was one I particularly liked, it was about a farmer girl, who was of course beautiful and smart but that no one seemed to truly noticed he. And…, and one day this, this prince comes along, actually he doesn't come he's wounded, she founds him wounded in the forest, she helps him, and, and of course they fall in love. But his prince and she's a farmer, so it can never work between them. But nevertheless her prince always come back to see her, in secret of course. And in the end, I don't exactly remember how but they found a way to be together and, and… well they live happily ever after."

"The poor girl who finds love in a rich man seems similar to your situation."

"Yes… but you have to notice in all of those story the two character have the same age, and… I remember one about a king who's queen had just died and he find love in a queen who like him had lost her king, not princess. So I guess it's just another reason why I worry my husband might prefer someone younger. "

"Um-hum"

 

Her session with the psychiatrist didn't do much to calm her jalousie. Her only real improvement was that she didn't have crisis in front of her family anymore. As a matter of fact she had became very good at hiding from both of them any spike of jealousy she might have. To them she was probably past all that.

But nevertheless, and even though Ul was not around anymore, the simple mention of her name was enough to bring inside Juvia an incredible anger that she desperately tried to contain. Her wonders of what her husband could be doing alone in his study kept growing bigger and bigger. It took all her strength to not spend her entire day listening at his door. Her doubts and worries sometimes kept her from sleeping at night.

It was during one of those nights that instead of twisting and turning in her bed as she usually did, she decided to go inside her husband's study. As silently as she could, she sneaked into the room. There she opened one by one each drawer of the desk until she found the large pill of letters he had written the day before and were to be send in the morning.

She found a kindle and lights it so she could open them without anyone noticing it in the morning. The first letter was simply business related, and so was the second, and the third, and the fourth. And yet with each of them her persuasion that one was secretly destined to Ul grew bigger.

When they was only three letters left, the door opened, Juvia got up from her chair in panic. Gray came in, he immediately noticed her standing next to the desk, he's eyes widen slightly. He was half way through asking her what she was doing here when his eyes fell on the table, where the open letters were shattered. His eyes widen a little more. He didn't need to say anything for her to know he had understood what she was doing. Juvia planted her gaze on the floor in her embarrassment.

"None of them are for Ul, right?" he asked nicely. Juvia nodded. "I could have told you that." He said just as kindly.

"I can't help it" was all Juvia found to say.

She heard him take several step toward her and didn't move. "While I don't understand where your" he pause trying to find the right word, "jalousie come from. I can imagined what it feels like." She allowed herself to look at him "But once again I assure you, my father will always be faithful to you. You have nothing to worry about."

"I can't help it" she said again.

"I know. But I hope one day it won't be case anymore. And I'd glad to help you with that."

"You think you can?" there was more desperation than hope in her voice as she said that.

"Yes, I think so. I will help you by reminding you that my father care more about you then anyone else and that you should let yourself be driven by the impulses your jalousie gives you." As he said this her eyes fell on the table. "I promise"

"Than I promise you will never found me in your father office at such late hour."

 

When Lisanna came to visit her again, there was like a light coming from her, Juvia had the feeling she had never seen her this happy. Therefore as soon as she was done with the common courtesy, she immediately asked her friend what made her so happy. With the biggest smile she had ever seen her friend told her " I've seen the doctor yesterday, I'm going to have a baby."

Juvia congratulated her friend as she was supposed to, but a part of her couldn't help but wonder weither or not her friend had enough money to raise a child properly. The conversation moved on to the life she now had with her husband. She explained how they were organised in his shop. How her life was at home. How she always asked her sister for advises. She spent a long moment pondering over the fact that she'd have to take care of the child and help her husband in her shop.

Her tirade was getting long and Juvia ended up cutting her with "You should take a nanny."

Lisanna stopped before telling her sadly "You know we can't afford one."

"Oh yes, I had forgotten."

"You should try not to forgot those things."

"What do you mean?" said Juvia on a warry tone.

"I'm merely saying you shouldn't forget where you came from." Answered Lisanna kindly

Juvia took this as an offence "I'm sorry?"

Lisanna sighed "The more I come to see you the less I recognise you. I miss you. Since you got married you're a different person."

"I understand"

"Really?"

"I understand that you're jealous of my new status!"

"Of course not!"

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying, I just miss you."

"You miss me being barely able to afford nice things! And being condemn to do middleclass jobs!"

"I'm a middleclass, there's nothing wrong about being middleclass!"

"Unless you're jealous of the upper one!"

Instead of answering Lisanna left.

 

"I can not believe she would react that way. We've been friends for years she should be happy for me. I would never have showed that kind of jealousy toward her. And I would have been honest about it from the start"

"This is something important to you, honesty between friends I mean?"

"Of course it is."

"So the behaviour of your friend chocks you."

"Yes but I guess it's normal for her. Pregnant woman have a tendency to odd behaviour I've heard."

"Your friend is pregnant?"

"Yes"

 

In the month that followed Juvia found herself subject to an incredible clumsiness. She had brock a beautiful necklace by tripping as it was caught on a door handle. She had brock the hill of one of her choose by forcing when she trouble putting it on. She had tired up on of her dress by catching on of her foot in it as she took a step with the other. Her husband had the one who could be fixed fixe, and bought the exact same one when they couldn't. They were after all originally gifts from him.

 

"He's fixing everything, it's so kind of him. It makes me feel slightly guilty that I keep thinking his having an affair. But at the same time I can't help but think that maybe this kindness comes from his own guilt over his affair. What do you think?"

"Well I've been doing a lot of thinking over your case and I have to ask you if you don't think your obsession over your husband having an affair with someone his age doesn't come from your own desire to be with someone your age, like your step-son?"

Juvia stayed immobile and did not answered.

"Miss Fullbuster?"

She suddenly became very reactive, she grabbed all her belongings and got out of the office before the doctor could call after her.

 

She never went to the doctor again. And her problem kept getting bigger. On one of her sleepless night she gave up and went into her husband office, and looked for where he kept the letter he had received. She found them in a rather large box.

She opened them all, one by one, in this sea of business issues, news from old ant, and information on his investment, she found nothing that could prove any deception on his part. She explained to herself that her husband was not stupid he would have put the letter in a different place of the others.

 

Juvia's silence had dinner had become a common thing, her husband and Gray simply talked without expecting her to give any input. This is probably why neither of them thought it would be unwise to speak of her husband new business partner in front of her. She immediately noticed that this person was a Miss and not Sir, she stopped eating to listen and neither man noticed. They then mention she had taken the rule of her father company ten years ago at the age of thirty-six and Juvia did the math. Her eyes turned to ice as she looked at her husband but he didn't noticed, he was far to busy bragging about this woman exploit as businesswoman.

Frustrated that he didn't noticed her discomfort Juvia voiced her anger "Then perhaps you should have married her."

She watched her husband face changed with the realisation of what he had just unleash. He immediately tried to redeem himself, but it was useless, Juvia's fury was freed and nothing would stop it. Gray tried to help his father, without success. No matter their explanation, no matter how logical their argument, Juvia's anger could only rise. All of them were standing up triying to defend their claims. Their battle ended at the same moment as Juvia's anger reached it's pick, because once it had a secondary feeling within her took the upper hand and sad tears fell from her eyes. In the room that had been field with shouts a second ago all that could be heard was her sobbing. She excused herself and left.

 

Sitting alone on her bed, Juvia's tears kept falling, and she kept shacking. She didn't know if she was crying because of the pain the idea of not being good enough for her husband brought in her or if it was simply that she felt guilty over what she had said over the diner. All she knew was that it hurt and showed no signs of stopping.

She heard a knocking on the door and choose to ignore it, the door opened nonetheless. She looked up to find Gray coming to sit next to her. As he did, she turned her look away and a faint whisper escaped her lips saying, "I'm sorry".

"So am I" he said nicely before placing his hand on her shoulder, he brought her close to his chest were she cried some more. He held her until she was done. Telling her that things would get better. A certain feeling of warmth came into her that evening that she could only explain as a normal reaction to the kindness she was given.

 

Her clumsiness disappeared just as instantly as it had come.

 

Juvia had developed a new habit, in complete opposition with the one she used to have, everyday, while her husband was at work, instead of spending her day alone she would always have her lunch with Gray.

During those meals she rediscovered the admiration she had felt for him on their first meeting. By listening to him she travelled through all of Europe, she could almost see the fields of Holland, smell the Italian coffee, feel the sun of Portugal, taste the French patisserie, and hear the traditional music of Ireland.

She also rediscovered parts of herself she seemed to have forgotten lately. They vigorously spoke of the place of woman in society. And discovered the pleasure of speaking freely with someone who seemed to understand her.

She learnt numerous things from Gray, on art, on the world, and nothing could have matched her happiness when he told her he learnt from her too.

Her jealousy seemed to have stopped. She didn't had any crisis anymore. It seemed that all her problem were behind her.

 

On one of their lunch, Gray informed her that he had a problem, she immediately told him that she do whatever she could to help. This didn't seem to help him, quite the opposite in fact, he seemed even more worried.

"You,… well I sure you remember Ultear." He stared "I… she and I have been keeping in touch and… well I want to marry her, but I wouldn't want to make our life more difficult as I remember what was between you and her mother."

"You don't have to worry about anything Gray."

Juvia excused herself before going up to her room. There, she took the electric lamp that was plugged to the wall, and placed next to her bath without unplugging it. She let the water feel the bathtub. She slowly took her cloth off, she looked at her pale skin in the mirror before getting inside her bath and stopping the water. She smiled at the warmth that came within her from the water. Then grabbed the lamp and let fall in the water with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked this and if you want comment with your thoughts it would be really nice.


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